Post Script: NPM: I will never hold you (Poem 5)

I will never hold you,
never count your perfect hands and toes
or smooth away your downy hair from your wrinkled face.
I will never feel your grip and be proud of your strength.

I will never hear you cry,
wanting what only I can give,
comfort, warmth, sustenance.
I will never decorate your nursery
or pick out baby clothes.
I will never know what you feel like, smell like,
your wants and needs.

I won’t watch you grow,
be proud at your achievements,
and worry for your safety.

I won’t cry on your first day of daycare,
wondering if you’ll be alright.
Share your first Christmas, overdo your first birthday.
Worry about sending you to college.

I will never sing to you until you fall asleep,
talk to you about drugs, sex, friendship, love,
laugh and cry with you.
Hear you call me mama for the first time.

I will never hug you, comfort you,
or get to teach you right from wrong.
I will never fret when you get your first cold,
your first crush, your first heartbreak.

I won’t even give you a name,
hear your heart beat for the first time,
or know whether you’re a boy or girl.

But I will remember you and keep you in my heart.
You will be remembered because I will never forget.

Post Script: National Poetry Month 2012: 30 Poems in 30 Days Challenge

Poem 1: If Only

Poem 2: Squishy

Poem 3: IselaRose

Poem 4: April Spray

Poem 5: I Will Never Hold You

Poem 6: La Petite Mort

Poem 7: Navy Roses

Poem 8: From My Lips to Your Heart

Poem 9:

Poem 10:

Poem 11:

Poem 12

Poem 13:

Poem 14: All the World’s a Stage

Poem 15: Freedom

Poem 16: Rebirth

Poem 17:

Poem 18:

Poem 19:

Poem 20:

Poem 21:

Poem 22:

Poem 23:

Poem 24: Haven

Poem 25:

Poem 26:

Poem 27:

Poem 28: He says he loves me