Life Definitions: Health and Happiness

My dad and I when I was 6

My dad is not okay. I didn’t realize it would hit home as hard as it has. He’s in the hospital, sick. With what? I don’t know. I have no one to contact to ask these things to. My mom left for Haiti this morning and I’m sitting on pins and needles, waiting for her to call and tell me what’s going on.

I know I’ve said it before, but I’m so sick and tired of people getting sick and dying around me. I am ill-equipped for all of this. I’ve lost my grandparents and now my dad, who’s no spring chicken, is so badly ill that he had to go to the hospital? I have never gotten a message about him being sick before. And I don’t know whether that’s been because they didn’t know how to contact me (highly unlikely) or because it was never serious enough to call me.

I just want to be reassured. That is all I’m asking for. I just want to know what’s going on so I can plan according…

Life Definitions: Earthquakes

I don’t know if this is a brand new topic or just a continuation of a previous blog about Haiti’s earthquake. I was devastated to hear what happened to my country over a year ago. I was worried about not hearing from my dad, about my dying grandmother having to live through that kind of terror. But all my worries and fears faded.

And then New York gets hit with an earthquake, a tremor, if we want to be honest. Lasted the whole of five minutes and then everyone went back to work. Continue reading

Kreyol Word of the Day: dan

dan   (noun)

teeth

dan m ‘fè mal. (Translation: My teeth hurts.)

Kreyol Word of the Day: lajan

lajan   (noun)

money

Mwen pa genyen lanjan pou mwen achte manje jodi a.

(Translation: I don’t have money to buy food today.)

Definition and example sentence taken from http://www.kreyol.com/creole-dictionary/show/lajan.

Kreyol Word of the Day: Silans

1. Silans (noun)

Silence

Mwen vle silans nan chanm nan. (Translation: I want silence in the room.)

2. Silans (verb)

Hush

Silans kounye a ti bebe. (Translation: Hush now baby.)

Kreyol Word of the Day: djondjon

djondjon (noun)

mushroom

Manman m ‘te fè diri ak djondjon yè. (Translation: My mother made rice and mushroom yesterday.)

Kreyol Word of the Day: maltèt

maltèt (noun)

headache

Mwen gen yon maltèt. (Translation: I have a headache.)

Life Definitions: One Year Later

My dad and I when I was 6

And I can’t stop thinking of my dad. If he has food to eat, a place to live…if he’s okay.

I haven’t heard from him for months and while I try not to talk about it or show that it bothers me, it scares me like you wouldn’t believe.

It’s amazing how much I care for a man whose face I can’t even picture in my head. No matter what I say about him, he still makes up half of who I am. And I love him for that alone.

And on today of all days, the thought that he might not be okay hits home harder than you can imagine.

No one can even find him…I’m used to him falling off the face of the earth every once in a while, but he’s been very good about keeping in contact with me for the last six years.

I need to know that he’s okay…

Life Definitions: I’m Going to Haiti

The fulfillment of this goal is bittersweet to me. It makes me question why I even put on the list in the first place.

My grandmother is dead, the country is in shambles and here I go…barely able to speak fluent Creole anymore and an aversion to hot sunlight…I’m going to fit right in ::eye roll::

I wish this trip was under different circumstances, I wish I could go and have my memory of my country match the reality. But sadly that can’t happen now and I’m afraid I will be hugely disappointed.

On a different note, I might see my father. And even now I wonder whether I should send word that I will be coming…I’m told he’s a good man. But that doesn’t make me feel any more excited to see him.

We shall see.

Earthquake in Haiti and my dad

My dad has not been heard from, and while on a normal day, that is no cause for alarm, it would be nice to hear from him. I can’t believe that after 21 years of being in this country and having no real interest in going back to Haiti, I now wish I had made that trip before this.

My absentee father means more to me than I have let myself believe. I love him and want him to be safe and well. My brain hasn’t quite processed the fact that he might not be ok. I have gone years without hearing from him. I don’t know…

I am racked with guilt for not doing more, not caring more, not being a more attentive daughter. What if I never get a chance to speak to him again? He loves me and to qoute my mom, “after his car, we were the most important things in his life.”

At the time, I thought that was the most absurd thing I’d ever heard, after his car? But I’ll take that as long as he’s alive.