Life Definitions: I’m Going to Haiti

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The fulfillment of this goal is bittersweet to me. It makes me question why I even put on the list in the first place.

My grandmother is dead, the country is in shambles and here I go…barely able to speak fluent Creole anymore and an aversion to hot sunlight…I’m going to fit right in ::eye roll::

I wish this trip was under different circumstances, I wish I could go and have my memory of my country match the reality. But sadly that can’t happen now and I’m afraid I will be hugely disappointed.

On a different note, I might see my father. And even now I wonder whether I should send word that I will be coming…I’m told he’s a good man. But that doesn’t make me feel any more excited to see him.

We shall see.

Life Definitions: The Fall

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As September quickly approaches I find myself thinking about the last two Septembers.

There are many people who tell me I should let it go, that not doing so is morbid and unhealthy. I say to those people, until you stand in my shoes and live in my skin, you have no idea what is healthy or not for me. It is not something I actively keep alive. It is a thought that will not go away, a seed that was planted and although the physical remains are gone, that scar in my soul is still fresh.

I don’t know whether its my religion that keeps me from forgetting or maybe its just the guilt of knowing that things could have been so different. Whatever the reason, Autumn and September especially, signify a sad time in my life. This month tests my strength and my will to live life, to love it and embrace it for what it is worth. How apropos that the Fall should symbolize my own.

All I can do is pray and keep hoping that with time and over time it will get easier to live and appreciate all that I have gained, or at least kept, because of my decisions.

September has always been such a lonely month for me. This is yet another chance to change that. I will do my best.

Life Definitions: My First Day At Work

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At work

So today is my first day at work. I just got in at 9AM sharp! Not bad for me…after sitting and talking to my new boss, I was brought around and introduced to everyone…AAAHHHH. (It wasn’t so bad)

I have filled out my paperwork (mostly) and am officially an employee. All I have to do now is figure out how to do my work.

I have no idea where to start. The person who had my position previously was, let’s face it, amazing! She left me a binder with all the information I will need to not die a horrible painful death my first week here.  Other than that, I have a brief view of what is upcoming in terms of events. I should be feeling pretty confident, but I think I’m going into overload.

My most pressing questions?

When’s lunch and how long do I get. I might go sit in front of the courthouse and bask in the sun for a bit. Walk around and find all the subway entrances and do all the things that I can’t do during rush hour.

I miss my old coworkers and my computer set up VERY MUCH right now, but I think by Nov. I might be able to talk them into giving me at least a bigger screen…if you can see in the photo, that blob of light is my monitor…yeah I know!! other than that, some extra desk space would be nice, as I like to have a lot of storage space.

Other than those small things (lol) I love it here so far!

I’ll keep you posted!

Life Definitions: My Last Day Hoorah!

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I have to say, my coworkers are the BEST! And I am such a sucker…Even though I kind of thought I would a going away party, by 5pm I was ready to give up on that idea. So here I am, saying goodbye to the wonderful ladies in coat check, sitting in the Museum Store, talking to my cousin…and I get a phone call to come upstairs. On my way up, I see Johnny…that should have been hint number 1!

So I get upstairs and Eduardo brings me to the hallway to get some “books” (hint number 2)…I open the door…and it is all my coworkers…standing in ambush for me with sweet goodbyes and red velvet cake…I mean…could a girl ask for a better last day than this? Lunch with my awesome development team members and the RED VELVET CAKE with the rest of my coworkers??

And they can keep a secret like no one’s business!

Sometimes, I question my common sense, I mean really. For everyone to be gone before 5pm? But I really wasn’t expecting that AT ALL. As I sit here and write this post about how wonderful and influential these women and men have been to me over the last two years, I find myself fighting tears.

They have helped me grow into a confident, professional woman, with the ability to be anything and do anything I want. I know I’ve said this before, but I cannot see myself working anywhere else these last two years.

I miss them already.

Life Definitions: Horrible Start to My Weight Loss

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So I woke up this morning super excited because today was to be the first day of my Bikram Yoga classes. Last night, as I was out to dinner, I realize that I can’t find my credit card. Thank God I had another one with me or I would have completely embarrassed myself in front of my friends.

I thought, maybe its at work or at home. I get to work…its not there. At this point, I am beyond annoyed, empty out my entire bag…nothing. So, no Bikram for me because I can’t register for the class. I have to wait a whole week to get a new card sent to me. Meanwhile, no yoga, no laundry, no nothing.

I am trying to stay upbeat, but its the small things that wear me down, you know? I’m ready for the weekend. Hopefully the quiet time will help me center myself and get some of that positive energy back.

Life Definitions: I got a New Job

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When I graduated NYU I knew that I didn’t want to go into the corporate world, but it wasn’t until speaking to Cely that I realized that nonprofit was where I was going to end up. I went on Idealist and I found a job.

I was one of the lucky few who managed to find something even in the economy we were in. Granted, they didn’t pay as much as I thought I would need to survive but it was a paycheck and I needed to get out of the house. I couldn’t stay without work anymore! I told myself that two years was the limit. After two years I would find something else and move on. After my first year though, I decided that my job was pretty great (minus a few people and bumps along the way). And that maybe I would stay a little longer than two years.

But true to my nature, a week after my second anniversary and the announcement that Dee got a new job…I was ready to start looking again – maybe. I applied to one job and a few days later I got an email asking me to come in for an interview and lo and behold, I discover that the woman I am replacing was at the wedding that I went to in San Fransisco at the end of June. It is such a small world!

After my second interview, my references were checked and I was offered a job. I cannot describe the feelings that are going through me right now. I am part excited, part nervous. I love the people I work with, I have made amazing friends along the way and wouldn’t change them for ANYTHING in the world. And now I have to start over without the support of knowing everyone else in my department is new at this too.

This is an amazing opportunity and comes at a time in my life where I need to start fresh and maybe even a little new. I just hope that I can live up to the upgrade and continue to experience such good fortune and keep the Blessing God has deemed me worthy of.

I have found my career!

Life Definitions: Confused

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I am confused. About a lot of things.

I know what I wish for myself, but I just can’t seem to allow the good things in.

I attract all this negative, and with Spring here, I don’t have the time or the energy for negative.

We shall see.

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