Cinco de Mayo 2010

Last night I celebrated Cinco de Mayo with the girls…ALL the girls. It felt good and right and needed! First I met them at Latitude on 8th Avenue between 47th and 48th. Then we moved to Tonic and partied like it was 05-05-05. (The best cinco de mayo I’ve had so far!) 

Two of us got really drunk, but that’s ok, I love them, so it was cute having them harass me THE ENTIRE NIGHT! lol 

I have some pictures, but will only put up one for the sake of not getting beat later by any of them. 

Cinco de Mayo

Life Definitions: 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 35
  2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying
  3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Social pressure and fear of rejection
  4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? God, I hope not
  5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Children getting abused
  6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Teaching creative writing
  7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Settling
  8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would have moved and had a family already
  9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? I’ve tried to
  10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? A little of both to be honest
  11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? Tell them that is my friend
  12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Live life well, the best things are worth the wait
  13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? YES
  14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Yes, during my creative writing classes
  15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Express myself
  16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because everyone isn’t me
  17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Travel. Fear of not having anything to come back to in terms of work
  18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes
  19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? Dublin. I fell in love with the country before I ever got there. I will move there!
  20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? Sometimes, and No, but it’s nice to dream
  21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Must I really choose?
  22. Why are you, you? Because that is the sum of my experiences
  23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? No, but I work hard at it
  24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch, always
  25. What are you most grateful for? My sister and 2 cousins. NOTHING will ever compare to those women
  26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I don’t know…
  27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? I believe so
  28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? No, and I hope it never does
  29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? Yes, and no, it really doesn’t
  30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? Going shopping instead of my mother’s college graduation. Best day I ever spent with her
  31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? Senior year of high school
  32. If not now, then when? Never
  33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Nothing
  34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Yes, lol
  35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because the believers don’t truly believe
  36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No, you just have to live and have hope
  37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Yes, then I’d move to Dublin and start a Creative Writing class for young children
  38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work I enjoy
  39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Yes, with slight differences
  40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? …wow
  41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? My family
  42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Nope
  43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? One is breathing, the other is happiness
  44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? Hopefully all the time
  45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because we’re afraid of life
  46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Almost nothing, perhaps keep things that I had to give up
  47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Only during my quiet moments
  48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? Writing, maybe
  49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? No, but I will remember the places I’ve been
  50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? I’m making them, I have to live with them right?

I got these questions from Marc and Angel

Post-Op Post

Hey, just checking in, now that my sister has brought me my laptop. The surgery went well, they found a small packet of fluid and when that was removed they found some rotted bone underneath.

That has been scraped off and by Monday the cultures will be back and they will have identified the type of infection and I will be able to go home.

They gave me a spinal tap thing ( that’s not what its really called) and I was numb from my waist down. But I don’t remember a thing after the relaxant kicked in. One minute I’m going…”ouch that was my right side,” and the next I’m waking up to find a blue sheet in my face and someone saying they’re almost done. Kinda creepy….

They are putting an IV in my arm that will go up to my heart so I can take my antibiotics at home.

Sounds all kinds of complicated…but if it makes me better, I’m willing to try.

Oh, and did I tell you I’m going to sue my first doctor?

Earthquake in Haiti and my dad

My dad has not been heard from, and while on a normal day, that is no cause for alarm, it would be nice to hear from him. I can’t believe that after 21 years of being in this country and having no real interest in going back to Haiti, I now wish I had made that trip before this.

My absentee father means more to me than I have let myself believe. I love him and want him to be safe and well. My brain hasn’t quite processed the fact that he might not be ok. I have gone years without hearing from him. I don’t know…

I am racked with guilt for not doing more, not caring more, not being a more attentive daughter. What if I never get a chance to speak to him again? He loves me and to qoute my mom, “after his car, we were the most important things in his life.”

At the time, I thought that was the most absurd thing I’d ever heard, after his car? But I’ll take that as long as he’s alive.

Life Definitions: Donate! Every Penny Counts!

Aids Walk New York on May 17th, 2009:

http://aidswalknewyork2009.kintera.org/tsanon

Thank you!

Life Definitions: Read this Hot Mess

Hot Mess

Synopsis:

They want the power to seize firms other than Banks…that’s some BS. I’m all for the Obama Administration, and I’m righteously pissed that my tax dollars (which count this year) are going into the pockets of the wealthy and fucked up.

BUT…I’m REALLY hesitant to feel good about where this is going. The Fed should NOT be involved in the free market except to create and moderate monetary policy.

Life Definitions: Confused

I am confused. About a lot of things.

I know what I wish for myself, but I just can’t seem to allow the good things in.

I attract all this negative, and with Spring here, I don’t have the time or the energy for negative.

We shall see.

Life Definitions: Caught Up

So, I’m getting caught up in this thing that’s going on with this guy. My cousin keeps saying to me, “Does he have a girlfriend?”

And I honestly don’t know. She’s right, I don’t know anything personal about him aside from the fact that he has kids. Yes KIDS with an S!

But I think he’s very nice. He’s funny, and although he doesn’t get my sense of humor yet, he responds positively to my idiocy. Which is more than I can ask for in a guy.

As you can see…I’m letting my heart get involved in this one…bad Titi, BAD! I know…but I want someone in my life to talk to and laugh with, and yes…be intimate with. It has been so long, and I feel that asking for someone who cares for me is not so much. I may not deserve it, but I feel like I’ve earned it damn it!

Long story, short…I like him. And if we are nothing but friends, he’s still someone I would like to get to know. All the guys at work are…I’ve missed hanging out with the male population, they keep me sane…no offense my loves, but you girls are CrAzY!

Life Definitions: Today is a not so Good Day

So my boss told me last week that I needed to act like everything was urgent. What she doesn’t know is that I used to have really bad panic attacks, if I act like everything is urgent, I won’t be able to function without breaking down into tears.

So today, she asks if I have sent out some invites to our Board members. I hadn’t because I needed to go to the post office to get them stamped, and there was just too much going on yesterday to find the time. But I should have told her. I know this, and it is my fault for not following up with her.

But today she tells me that the invites and envelopes should have been ready last week and it was my responsiblilty to make sure they went out two days ago. And I couldn’t argue with that because it is my responsibility…that’s my job.

I wanted to explain why they didn’t go out, but I couldn’t even remember when the invites came in, just like I didn’t remember to tell her about the postage issue. I wanted to; I told myself that I would; but by the time I walked back to my desk, I’d forgotten.

So I act too calm and I’m forgetful. These things are going to cost me my job. And I don’t know what to do. JoJo told me to walk around with a note pad, but how do I explain to my boss that I have to stay calm, or I’ll break down at work, probably right in front of her.

I just want to go into the restroom and cry right now.

Life Definitions: So I got stood up

Yeah, he completely stood me up…

Then sent me a text at 9:30 in the morning apologizing, saying, “I’m so sorry about last night…showered then fell asleep. Good morning, are you coming to work today?”

And I told myself, “that could be true…”

Then I was running around all day, so I texted late in the day and asked if he could talk…

He said he was driving and would call me in ten.

This was on Saturday around 6pm.

It is now Monday around 10am…no phone call. I wonder if I should be more upset than I actually am? I mean, I’m dissappointed of course…I was really looking forward to hanging out Friday…but I did get my drinks, I spent some time with the roomies, which is always fun.

So, yeah, I got stood up…C’est la vie!